When breastfeeding is just like urination

I enjoy reading fun little articles on my news site of choice, something to take away from all the tragic tales of world and local horror. Yesterday, this piece appeared, sharing the happy little anecdote of a mom with skills so mad she pumped her breasts while running a half marathon. Yes, Ms. Anna Young has some mad pumping skills and running skills. I can manage a pump while I browse the internet during recess and maybe one day I will think about running around the block. I salute you.

However, as comments go, the expected sort came rolling around in due time: How dare she be flashing her non-exposed breasts while people are about! How immodest! How inconsiderate!

And, of course, my favorite: “Peeing and pooping are natural, too! Should we do those in public?”

I respond to that: No. Under most circumstances you should not pee or poop in public. That is gross.

And what in the world does the natural physical actions of urination and defecation have to do with other natural actions?

Are we really failing category sorts that badly in kindergarten?

Many things are natural. That doesn’t mean we lump together in a single category. If you are doing this, you need to return to kindergarten and explore new and more specific ways of sorting objects and concepts.

Because if you equate breastfeeding with urination, there is something very and probably irrevocably wrong with you.

But Emily! I’m not saying breastfeeding is a way of expelling disgusting waste from the human body! I’m simply saying that if urination is done in private, other things ought to be done privately as well.

Gotcha and thanks for that extremely general phrase. Some things ought to be done in private. Okay. So what’s the connection between urination and breastfeeding? That’s a bit of a leap without any steps of logic. What other vague notion should be done in private? Or in public? I think we’re going to need a few more definitions before we start with better categorization.

Breastfeeding is eating. Urination is peeing. They’re extremely different. Ask a medical or biological professional. I’m quite positive they will assure you they are different. Different organs, different purposes, differing fluids.

But, for the sake of argument, let’s see how urination and breastfeeding are the same.

  1. Urine and milk are both liquids and come out of the body.
  2. That’s about the long and the short of it.

This means that if anything is liquid and comes out of the body, it should be done in private. Like crying and bleeding. Crying is for wussies and your arterial damage had best be done away from others.

If you honestly think urination is anywhere in the same ball park as breastfeeding, you also have to keep this straight across the board. If breastfeeding is like urination, it’s unsanitary for human consumption and should not be done to any infant no matter where you are.

But most people don’t think that way, do they?

 

 

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